Happy tenth birthday to this show! To celebrate, here's every randomly selected word from the dictionary from the first decade of the show.
Read moreAllusionist 206. Bonus 2024
It's the annual parade of Bonus Bits - things this year's guests said that I couldn't fit into their episodes, and/or weren't about language, but now is their time to shine.
We've got tricorn hats, changing your dog's name, Boston cream pie, parmesan vs vomit, the placebo effect's negative sibling, the universal blank, headache poetry and bawdy riddles. And more!
Read moreA Christmas Carollusionist
Over four livestreams, 19-22 December 2024 starting each day at 12:30pm PT/3:30pm ET/20:30 UTC/check your timezone, I’m reading A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens, with musical and visual accompaniment by Martin Austwick. Join us, all are welcome! It’ll be fun if you want, or lulling you to sleep if you don’t want. It’ll be festive if you want, or a tale of jerks learning a hard lesson if you don’t. The sidebar chat will be a great time; that, we can count on.
All the videos are at youtube.com/allusionistshow, specifically in the Allusionist Reads playlist. And if you can’t make the livestreams, they’ll be available not-live afterwards there too. Plus they are embedded downpost for your convenience.
Also, now's the optimal time to listen to the various Festivelusionists, about such things as Winterval and the many names for Santa, and real life Christmas elves, and the most frequently occurring words in Christmas songs (includes my evergreen ditty about meat sweats), but especially the one about why Christmas got so Dickensy. They are gathered in this playlist: theallusionist.org/festivelusionist.
Ho ho ho bah humbug,
HZ
The Allusionist reads A Christmas Carol, stave 1: Marley’s Ghost.
Scrooge is going about his daytime business of work, more work, and making other people's lives worse. Then that night he is visited by the ghost of his late business partner Jacob Marley, and guess what: business ghosts are not fun ghosts.
The Allusionist reads A Christmas Carol, stave 2: The Ghost of Christmas Past.
Scrooge is visited by the ghost of Christmas Past and is taken on a whistlestop tour of festivities from his boyhood and earlier adulthood, so he gets to see himself becoming ever more of a prick.
The Allusionist reads A Christmas Carol, stave 3: The Ghost of Christmas Present.
Scrooge is visited by the ghost of Christmas Present and is shown a whole lot of festive partayyyyyyyyyy, to which he himself is not, er, party. Also: the poor lil mite Tiny Tim. He'll be ok, right? Right??
The Allusionist reads A Christmas Carol, stave 4: The Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come, and stave 5: Christmas Day.
In Stave 4, Scrooge is visited by the ghost of Christmas Yet to Come, and gives him some pretty scary life spoilers! Unless... Scrooge becomes a changed man? Tune into Stave 5 to find out!!
Allusionist 205. Lexicat, part 2: now with added Dog
In Lexicat part 1, we met the author Mary Robinette Kowal and her cat Elsie, and learned about how they communicate via a set of buttons programmed with words. In part 2, two talking dogs, Bastian and Parker - and their humans, Joelle Andres and Sascha Crasnow - join us too, and explain how they discovered some very unexpected things about what their animal companions are thinking and feeling thanks to the buttons, and how they changed the ways they communicate with other humans too. And animal behaviour expert Zazie Todd gives us some tips for interpreting cats’ and dogs’ body language.
Read moreFestivelusionists
'Tis the season for the festive Allusionists!
This year, I’ll also be reading A Christmas Carol over four sessions on YouTube; details are at theallusionist.org/events, and you can also hit ‘Notify me’ on each video at youtube.com/@AllusionistShow/streams.
Here’s your playlist of episodes from the back catalogue, which are all also available in your podcast app, of course:
Winterval
It’s a portmanteau that became shorthand for the War On Christmas™, with a side of ‘political correctness gone mad’. But this is very unfair to Winterval.
Xmas Man
That mythical beardy man who supposedly gives children presents at Christmas - what’s he all about, and why does he have so many different names? Also, why were Victorian Christmas cards so scary and meaty?
How the Dickens Stole Christmas
Charles Dickens wrote about the plight of the impoverished and destitute members of British society. So how come his name is a synonym for rosy-cheeked, full-stomached, fattened-goose, hearty merry “God bless us every one” Christmas? Plus: a trip to Dickensian London, recreated in an expo centre in California.
Dear Santa
Jim Glaub and Dylan Parker didn’t think too much of it when, every year, a few letters for Santa were delivered to their New York apartment addressed to Santa. But then one year, 400 letters arrived. And they decided they had to answer them.
It’s a very sweet story, but they’re still doing it and now have a non-profit — if you want to be a Santa for a kid in need, you can donate or get involved at miracleon22ndstreet.com
A Festive Hit for 2020
The usual canon of holly jolly Christmas songs didn’t really fit the mood of 2020. So Jenny Owen Youngs, Martin Austwick and I wrote one that does. And it’s a banger!
Allusionist 204. Lexicat, part 1
Elsie the cat has a set of 120 buttons programmed with words. She uses them to lie, swear, apologise, express grief and frustration and love to her human, the author Mary Robinette Kowal, who talks about what's involved in learning to communicate via language buttons with companion animals. And animal behaviour expert Zazie Todd explains how animals might be interacting with human language.
Read moreAllusionist 203. Flyting
In 15th and 16th century Scotland, in the highest courts of the land, you'd find esteemed poets hurling insults at each other. This was flyting, a sort of medieval equivalent of battle rap, and it was so popular at the time that the King himself wrote instructions for how to do it well. Writer and Scots language campaigner Ishbel McFarlane and historical linguist Joanna Kopaczyk explain the art of flyting, where an insult becomes slander, what's going on within the speech act of performative diss-trading, and what the legal consequences could be of being accused of witchcraft.
Read moreAllusionist 202: Singlish Singlish
There's so much more to say about Singlish after last episode that we're saying some more of it this episode. Poet and academic Gwee Li Sui, author of Spiaking Singlish: A Companion to how Singaporeans Communicate, describes the resistance he received in Singapore when he published Singlish translations of literary works - and why they are important and celebratory for Singlish. And Stacey Mei Yan Fong, baker and author of 50 Pies, 50 States, explains how the language that used to be embarrassing for her is now a huge comfort.
Read moreAllusionist 201: Singlish
"If you grow up being told that one of your first languages, Singlish, is actually a bad version of an already existing language, you kind of get this sense that “I'm just bad at language,” says Bibek Gurung, a former linguist who grew up in Singapore speaking Singlish with his family and friends, while schools and the government tried to quash it. "Language is a fundamental human skill. And to just have this sense that you're bad at this very fundamental skill really does a number to your self esteem and your abilities to communicate in general."
Read moreTranquillusionist: Ex-Constellations
This is the Tranquillusionist, in which I, Helen Zaltzman, give your brain a break by temporarily supplanting your interior monologue with words that don't make you feel feelings. Note: this is NOT a normal episode of the Allusionist, where you might learn something about language and your brain might be stimulated. The Tranquillusionist's purpose is to soothe your brain and for you to learn very little, except for something about Zeus's attitude to bad drivers.
Today: constellations that got demoted into ex-constellations. Featuring airborne pregnancy, cats of the skies, and one of the 18th century's most unpopular multi-hyphenates.
Read more