Listen to this episode at theallusionist.org/gay-animals
This is the Tranquillusionist, in which I, Helen Zaltzman, say a load of words which aren’t really about anything so that your brain gets a little gentle diversion from thinking and/or feeling. This is not a regular episode of the Allusionist where you’re supposed to think and/or feel things. The Tranquillusionist is meant to be a bit dull, and maybe it’ll help you get to sleep or at least turn your existential screaming down to 11.
Today I shall be reading a list of gay animals, that is animals that have been observed and documented doing romantic and sexual things with animals of the same sex. These are just the ones that have been recorded, which often did not happen because editorialising.
I wish a celebratory and safe Pride to all us queer animals.
On with the Tranquillusionist.
Acorn woodpecker
Adelie penguin
African buffalo
African elephant
Agile wallaby
Alfalfa weevil
Amazon molly
Amazon river dolphin
American bison
American flamingo
American herring gull
Anglerfish
Anna's hummingbird
Anole
Antelope
Appalachian woodland salamander
Asian elephant
Asiatic mouflon
Atlantic spotted dolphin
Australian parasitic wasp
Australian sea lion
Australian shelduck
Aztec parakeet
Bank swallow
Barasingha - also known as swamp deer, barasingha means twelve-horned in Hindi.
Barbary sheep AKA aoudad
Barbastelle bat
Barn owl
Bean weevil
Bearded dragon
Bearded vulture
Bechstein's bat
Bedbug - apparently bedbugs are sexually attracted to those who have just been fed.
Beluga
Bengalese finch (domestic)
Bharal or blue sheep
Bicoloured antbird
Bighorn sheep
Black bear
Black-billed magpie
Blackbuck
Black-Capped Chickadee - my friend Benjamin Partridge told me the other day that Americans came up with the name ‘chickadee’ for these birds so they didn’t have to use their other name, tit. I have not found verification, but why would Benjamin Partridge lie about his fellow birds?
Black-crowned night heron
Black-footed rock wallaby
Black-headed gull
Black-rumped flameback, AKA the lesser golden-backed woodpecker
Black-spotted frog
Black stilt
Blackstripe topminnow
Black swan
Black-tailed deer
Black-winged stilt
Blister beetle
Blood-fluke
Blowfly
Blue-crowned parakeet, AKA sharp-tailed conure
Blue-backed manakin
Blue-bellied roller
Bluegill sunfish
Blue-tailed day gecko
Blue tit
Blue-tongued skink
Blue-winged teal
Bonin flying fox AKA the Ogasawara giant bat
Bonnet macaque
Bonobo
Bottlenose dolphin
Bowhead whale
Box crab
Brazilian guinea pig
Bridled dolphin
Broad-headed skink
Broadwinged damselfly
Brown bear
Brown capuchin
Brown-headed cowbird
Brown long-eared bat
Brown rat
Budgerigar (domestic)
Buff-breasted sandpiper
Buffalo
Cabbage white, the small white butterfly
Calfbird
California gull
Canada goose
Canary-winged parakeet
Caribou
Caspian tern
Cassowary
Cat (domestic)
Cattle (domestic)
Cattle egret
Chacma baboon
Char
Checkered whiptail lizard
Checkerspot butterfly
Cheetah
Chicken
Chihuahuan spotted whiptail lizard
Chilean flamingo
Chiloé wigeon
Chimpanzee
Chinstrap penguin
Chital
Cliff swallow
Club-tailed dragonfly
Cockatiel
Cockroach
Codling moth
Collared peccary
Commerson's dolphin
Common ameiva
Common bent-wing bat
Common brushtail possum
Common chaffinch
Common dolphin
Common garter snake
Common gull
Common marmoset
Common murre or common guillemot
Common noctule
Common pipistrelle
Common redshank
Common shelduck
Common skimmer dragonfly
Common tree shrew
Common wallaroo
Comoro flying fox AKA Livingstone's fruit bat
Cotton-top tamarin
Crab-eating macaque
Crane
Creeping water bug
Crested black macaque
Cuban green anole Cutworm
Dall's sheep
Damselfly
Daubenton's bat
Desert grassland whiptail lizard
Desert tortoise
Digger bee
Dog (domestic)
Domesticated turkey
Donkey
Doria's tree kangaroo
Dragonfly
Dugong
Dusky moorhen
Dwarf cavy
Dwarf mongoose
Eastern bluebird
Eastern cottontail rabbit
Eastern grey kangaroo
Egyptian goose
Elegant parrot
Emu
Eucalyptus longhorned borer
Eurasian oystercatcher
European bison
European bitterling
European jay
European polecat
European shag
Fallow deer
False killer whale
Fat-tailed dunnart
Fence lizard
Field cricket
Fin whale
Five-lined skink
Flour beetle
Fox
François' langur, AKA Tonkin leaf monkey, AKA white side-burned black langur
Fruit fly
Galah
Gazelle
Gelada baboon
Gentoo penguin
Giraffe
Glasswing butterfly
Goat (domestic)
Gold dust day gecko
Golden bishop bird
Golden monkey
Golden plover
Gopher snake AKA pine snake AKA bull snake - cmon, decide whether it’s gopher, bull or pine! Toss a three-sided coin!
Gorilla
Grant's gazelle
Grape borer
Grayling
Great cormorant
Greater bird of paradise
Greater flamingo
Greater horseshoe bat
Greater mouse-eared bat
Greater rhea
Green anole
Green cheek conure
Green lacewing
Green sandpiper
Green swordtail
Greenshank
Grey-capped social weaver
Grey-headed flying fox
Grey heron
Greylag goose
Grey seal
Grey squirrel
Grey whale
Grey wolf
Griffon vulture
Grizzly bear
Guiana leaffish
Guianan cock-of-the-rock
Guillemot
Guinea pig (domestic)
Hamadryas baboon
Hammerhead (also known as hammerkop)
Hamster (domestic)
Hanuman langur
Harbor porpoise
Harbor seal
Harvestman
Hawaiian orb-weaver spider
Hen flea
Herring gull
Himalayan tahr
Hoary-headed grebe
Hoary marmot
Hooded warbler
Horse (domestic)
House fly
House sparrow
Houting whitefish
Human
Humboldt penguin
Hypoponera opacior ant
Ichneumon wasp
Inagua curlytail lizard
Incirrata octopus
Indian flying fox
Indian muntjac
Indian rhinoceros
Ivory gull
Jackdaw
Jamaican giant anole
Japanese macaque
Japanese scarab beetle
Jewel cichlid
Jumping spiders
Kangaroo rat
Kestrel
Killer whale
King penguin
Kittiwake
Koala
Larch bud moth
Laredo striped whiptail lizard
Larga seal
Largehead anole
Large milkweed bug
Large white
Laughing gull
Laysan albatross
Least chipmunk
Least darter
Lechwe
Leek moth
Lesser bushbaby
Lesser flamingo
Lesser horseshoe bat
Lesser noctule or Irish bat
Lesser scaup duck
Lion
Lion-tailed macaque
Lion tamarin
Little blue heron
Little brown bat
Little egret
Long-eared hedgehog
Long-fingered bat
Long-footed tree shrew
Long-legged fly
Long-tailed hermit hummingbird
Lory
Macaque
Mallard
Markhor
Marten
Masked lovebird
Masked palm civet
Mazarine blue
Mealy amazon parrot
Mew gull
Mexican jay
Mexican white butterfly
Midge
Migratory locust
Mite
Mocó or rock cavy
Mohol bushbaby
Monarch butterfly
Moor macaque
Moose
Mountain dusky salamander
Mountain goat
Mountain tree shrew
Mountain zebra
Mourning gecko
Mouse (domestic)
Moustached tamarin
Mouthbrooding fish, various species - and the mouthbrooding means they incubate their young in their mouths
Mule deer
Musk duck
Musk-ox
Mute swan
Narrow-winged damselfly
Natterer's bat
New Zealand sea lion
Nilgiri langur
Noctule
North American porcupine
Northern elephant seal
Northern fur seal
Northern quoll
Ocellated antbird
Ocher-bellied flycatcher
Olympic marmot
Orange bishop bird
Orange-fronted parakeet
Orangutan
Ornate lorikeet
Ostrich
Pacific striped dolphin
Parsnip leaf miner
Patas monkey
Peach-faced lovebird
Peach moth
Peccary aka javelina or skunk pig
Père David's deer or elaphure or milu
Pied flycatcher
Pied kingfisher
Pig (domestic)
Pigeon (domestic)
Pig-tailed macaque
Plains zebra
Plateau striped whiptail lizard
Polar bear
Pomace fly
Powerful owl
Pretty-faced wallaby, also known as the whiptail wallaby
Proboscis monkey
Pronghorn
Przewalski's horse or takhi or Mongolian wild horse
Pudú
Puku
Purple swamphen
Queen butterfly
Quokka
Rabbit
Raccoon
Raccoon dog
Rafinesque's big-eared bat
Raggiana's bird of paradise
Raven
Razorbill
Red ant
Red-backed shrike
Red bishop bird
Red deer
Red diamond rattlesnake
Red-faced lovebird
Red flour beetle
Red fox
Red kangaroo
Red-necked wallaby
Red-shouldered widowbird
Red squirrel
Red-tailed skink
Reeves's muntjac
Regent bowerbird
Reindeer
Reindeer warble fly
Rhesus macaque
Rice moth
Right whale
Ring-billed gull
Ring dove
Rock cavy
Rock dove
Rodrigues fruit bat
Roe deer
Roseate tern
Rose chafer
Rose-ringed parakeet
Rove beetle
Ruff
Ruffed grouse
Rufous rat kangaroo or bettong
Rufous-naped tamarin or Geoffrey’s tamarin
Saddle-back tamarin
Sage grouse
Salmon
San Blas jay
Sand martin
Satin bowerbird
Savanna baboon
Scarab beetle
Scarlet ibis
Scottish crossbill
Screwworm fly
Seagull
Sea otter
Senegal parrot
Serotine bat
Seychelles giant tortoise
Sharp-tailed sparrow
Sheep (domestic)
Siamang
Side-blotched lizard
Sika deer aka northern spotted deer or Japanese deer
Silver gull
Silvery grebe
Slender tree shrew
Snow goose
Snub-nosed monkey
Sooty mangabey
Southeastern blueberry bee
Southern green stink bug
Southern masked chafer
Southern one-year canegrub
Southern platyfish AKA moonfish
Speckled rattlesnake
Spectacled caiman
Sperm whale
Spider monkey
Spinifex hopping mouse
Spinner dolphin
Spiny-headed worm
Spotted hyena
Spotted seal
Spreadwinged damselfly
Spruce budworm moth
Squirrel monkey
Stable fly
Stag beetle
Stitchbird
Striped dolphin
Stuart's marsupial mouse
Stumptail macaque
Superb lyrebird
Swallow-tailed manakin
Swamp deer
Swamp wallaby
Talapoin
Tammar wallaby
Tasmanian devil
Tasmanian native hen
Tasmanian rat kangaroo
Ten-spined stickleback
Tengger desert toad
Thinhorn sheep
Thomson's gazelle
Three-spined stickleback
Tibetan macaque
Tiger
Tonkean macaque
Tree swallow
Tropical tasar silkmoth
Trumpeter swan
Tsetse fly
Tucuxi
Ugandan Kob
Urial
Ursine colobus AKA the white-thighed black-and-white colobus
Vampire bat
Verreaux's sifaka or the white sifaka lemur
Vervet monkey
Victoria's riflebird
Vicuña
Vine moth
Walrus
Wapiti or elk
Warthog
Water boatman
Waterbuck
Water buffalo
Water moccasin
Water strider or water skeeter
Wattled starling
Weeper capuchin
Western banded gecko
Western grey kangaroo
Western gull
Western rattlesnake
West Indian manatee or North American Manatee
Whiptail lizard
Whiptail wallaby
Whiskered bat
White-faced capuchin
White-fronted amazon parrot
White-fronted capuchin
White-handed gibbon
White-lipped peccary
White stork
White-tailed deer
Wild cavy
Wild goat
Wood duck
Wood turtle
Yellow-backed lorikeet
Yellow-bellied marmot
Yellow-footed rock wallaby
Yellow-rumped cacique
Yellow-toothed cavy
Zebra finch (domestic).
That was a list of gay animals.
If you like this tranquillusionist, you can find several more tranquillusionists in the feed and at theallusionist.org/tranquillusionist or hit the Tranquillusionist tab on the website. And while you’re there visiting the show’s forever home, check out the playlist of Pride-related episodes: about the word ‘queer’, and the choice of ‘pride’ for Pride, and the chaotic existence of the word ‘bisexual’, being used for hats and spacecraft docking systems and musical instruments. We’ve talked about the secret gay language Polari, and the language around genderqueer parenting, and new queer vocabulary for languages that didn’t have much of it or what they did have was all stigmatising. There are episodes about terms including ‘asexual’ and ‘aromantic’, and ‘rainbow-washing’, and the real meaning of ‘queerbaiting’. So much good stuff.
The Allusionist is an independent podcast and if you have the inclination and means to keep such a thing afloat in a particularly precarious time for independent media, then hop on over to theallusionist.org/donate to support the show, and get a load of perks including fortnightly livestreams featuring tranquil readings from my dictionaries, and the emotional succour of the Allusioverse community on Discord.
Your randomly selected word from the dictionary today is…
muid, noun: an old French measure for capacity; a hogshead, a dry measure for corn etc. South Africa: a sack of three bushels.
Try using ‘muid’ in an email today. Shut the dictionary very quietly, very quietly, keep things tranquil…
[HZ shuts dictionary quietly]
This episode was produced by me, Helen Zaltzman; Martin Austwick composed the music. Hear his own songs at palebirdmusic.com and listen to his podcasts Song By Song about the music of Tom Waits, and Neutrino Watch. For information about gay animals, I must thank Bruce Bagemihl and his work Biological Exuberance: Animal Homosexuality and Natural Diversity.
Our ad partner is Multitude. If you have a product or thing about which you’d like me to talk, sponsor the show: contact Multitude at multitude.productions/ads.
Seek out @allusionistshow on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter. And you can hear or read every episode, listen to more Tranquillusionists, donate to the show and become a member of the Allusioverse, see the full dictionary entries for the randomly selected words, all at the show’s forever home theallusionist.org.
