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When you're trans and pregnant, some of the vocabulary of pregnancy, birth and parenting might not fit you. In fact, some of it might not even work for people of ANY gender.
Trans parents Freddy McConnell and CJ talk about gender-additive language, inclusive for women and other genders, and about how in English law, the word 'mother' becomes semantically very complicated indeed.
EXTRA MATERIALS:
The Gender Inclusion Midwives at the Brighton and Sussex University Hospitals put together useful materials about gender-inclusive language for prenatal and birth care.
The podcast Longest Shortest Time’s Accidental Gay Parents series checks in with Trystan and John after they become parents via adoption and then pregnancy. And a few years ago CJ was also on the show, talking about wanting to become a dad.
“In the UK, the Office for National Statistics collects no information on the gender of the birthing parent; neither does the NHS. Last year, British newspapers including the Sun and the Independent hailed Hayden Cross as ‘Britain’s first pregnant man’. Soon afterwards, they had to hail another man, Scott Parker, after he got in touch to say that he had given birth a few months earlier. ‘There have been about six first pregnant men,’ Jason Barker notes wryly. His son turns eight this year.”
Lovely interview with musician Ezra Furman about being a parent who goes away on tour.
A clutch of research articles about trans pregnancy by the Trans Pregnancy Project.
“Discussing Britain in terms of trans rights is very different from discussing Britain in terms of trans liberation. What happens in Britain is that because these rights exist, it gives people license to assume that everything’s fine when, actually, it’s far from fine.” Shon Faye’s book The Transgender Issue is next on my list.
And I recently read Torrey Peters’s novel Detransition, Baby and enjoyed it a lot.
“Family forms and structures have changed many times through history and are still changing. Families with trans parents exist and they are here to stay.”
Otherlusionists:
Freddy appeared on the Engraving part 2: Precious episode, talking about wearing his grandmother’s ring.
The episode about divorce that I mentioned is Post Love, where family lawyer Nick Allen explains how same sex couples can’t divorce on grounds of adultery lest Parliament have to discuss what would be involved sexually. I texted Nick for an update and he said that this is still the case, “but with no fault divorce coming into effect from next April, all the five current ways of proving ‘irretreivable breakdown’ of which adultery was one will go.” Another lucky escape for ole Parliament!
In the episode Joins, trans listeners talk about how language for their bodies works - or doesn’t - in medical contexts.
YOUR RANDOMLY SELECTED WORD FROM THE DICTIONARY:
comedo
comedo, noun: technical term for ‘blackhead’. Origin 19th century from Latin, literally ‘glutton’ (a former name for parasitic worms, the term now refers to the matter squeezed from a blackhead).
CREDITS:
Freddy McConnell is pregnant with his second child and crowdfunding so that he can give birth in Sweden and be the baby’s father on the birth certificate. Watch Seahorse, the documentary about his pregnancy and birth of his first son, and read his articles in Vice about his current pregnancy (CW: pregnancy loss). He also made a BBC podcast about queer parenting, Pride and Joy.
CJ has given birth since we recorded our interview, and their baby is two months old and Very Cute.
This episode was produced by me, Helen Zaltzman, with editorial advice from Cass Adair from Sylveon Consulting.
The original Allusionist music is by Martin Austwick. Download his songs at palebirdmusic.com, listen to his podcasts Song By Song and Neutrino Watch, and hear more of his composition on the science podcast for kids Maddie’s Sound Explorers.
Find the show at twitter.com/allusionistshow, facebook.com/allusionistshow, twitter.com/helenzaltzman and instagram.com/allusionistshow.
The Allusionist is an independent podcast. If you’re able and inclined to support the show, head over to patreon.com/allusionist.
Back in a couple of weeks with a new episode - HZ.
New merch at theallusionist.org/merch!
With the Winterval Season approaching, get your own wearable carb duvet for the soul just like in the song.
