Can you believe, this podcast turns nine years old on 14 January 2024?

The show began five British prime ministers ago! When it began, I was still struggling to get a bank card without 'Miss' on it!

Nine years is the time between Before Sunrise and Before Sunset - an eternity of romantic yearning; and in fashion, numerous generations after Julie Delpy's slip dress over baby t-shirt - and yet here I am, doing the same job (ineligible for promotion!). In the nine years, Mercury has travelled around the Sun thirty-seven times, whereas Jupiter still hasn't completed one full orbit. In the nine years, podcasting became An Industry and had a gold rush, then a big collapse; I didn't get rich from the former (boo!) nor destroyed by the latter (phew! (So far!!)). If you stood on the same spot on Mercury for the whole nine years, you would have moved nearly 600,000 kilometres without taking a single step. In the nine years, I have learned so, so much, but feel I know less than ever. If you stood on the same spot on Mercury, you would have frazzled or frozen to oblivion in less time than it took you to read this sentence.

When I say "nine years" above, I mean nine Earth years, not Mercury years. The Allusionist is already 37 years old in Mercury years.

To celebrate the podcast's ninth Earth birthday, a milestone which, let's face it, means nothing really, we're going to do a couple of things!

1. Livestream

We'll gather on YouTube for an hour of fun, including relaxing readings from reference books - as we, ie me and the fine members of the Allusioverse, do regularly, but this time all are welcome. Here's the YouTube link, we'll commence Saturday 20 January, 1pm PT/4pm ET/9pm UTC/Sunday morning Western Pacific/check your timezone.

2. Q&A

Ask me anything! Pop a comment here and I shall endeavour to answer.

Yes, I do miss answering questions. And for all this "Nine years omg!" blahdiblah, Answer Me This lasted for fourteen and two-thirds years, which is half of one Saturn orbit.

3. Gifts!

For me, your presence is presents enough; but if you fancied giving the show as a gift to someone else, that would be wonderful. Personal recommendations are the best ways for people to find podcasts, and a nine-year-old podcast is brand new to the listener who just discovered it. The passage of the past nine years felt linear to me, but nine years of podcasts in a podfeed is growing block universe theory.

Nine years feels like a long time, but when I visited my mother last month, she was surprised when I threw out her jars of ground spices that had use-by dates in Barack Obama's first term.

Nine years is a long time for spices, but a flicker of an eyelid in my mother's perception of when she bought the spices. Nine years is long and nine years is short; time is the Müller-Lyer illusion. The flavour of ground spice is Mercury and my mother is Jupiter.

Your real imaginary friend,