Go to theallusionist.org/creaturequiz to listen to this episode and play along using the interactive score sheet, which includes the text of the answers and extra information given alongside.
HZ: This is the Allusionist, in which I, Helen Zaltzman, am hanging out by a pig pen with my new pal Whisky - say hi, Whisky!
WHISKY: [snorts]
HZ: - because today’s episode is a playalong etymology quiz all about creatures! Mammals! Birds! Insects! Sea beasts! Fun for all the family! Pop off to get a piece of paper and pencil, or load up theallusionist.org/creaturequiz where there’s an interactive score sheet, but if you’re in Aotearoa New Zealand, stay right here, I have an important message for you, and that is the Allusionist live touring show Your Name Here, all about eponyms, is on this month - this very month of August 2022! In fact the next show is later today from when I’m recording - so come along to see us in Wanaka, Dunedin, Christchurch, Wellington and Auckland. Hurry to theallusionist.org/events for information and tickets, because August is now so these shows are soon. This live show is not available on the podcast, nor is the Problematic Eponym pencil that everyone gets when they attend the show. .
Alright, are you ready to quiz? Are you ready to quiz?? Whisky, are you ready to quiz?
WHISKY: Oink.
HZ: Humans, have you got the interactive answer sheet open at theallusionist.org/creaturequiz?
Then on with the quiz.
QUESTION 1. Which creature’s name has the etymology ‘little priest’?
A. Badger
B. Magpie
C. Schnauzer
D. Parakeet
ANSWER: D. parakeet, derived from the Italian parrochetto, ‘little priest’.
QUESTION 2. Magpie is short for:
A. Magnum PI
B. Margaret Pica
C. Magic Pigeon
D. Magister Pinetree
ANSWER: B. Margaret pica!
The Mag stood for Margaret, and think about it, quite a few common birds had human names, the jenny wren, the tomtit, the robin redbreast - originally robert redbreast - the jackdaw, formerly just a ‘daw’. Similarly, the magpie was originally just a pie, we’ll get back to that in a sec. Why Margaret though in magpie? The name was used to denote women, yes the concept of women, and why for this bird? Because it chatters! What else chatters? WOMEN! They could have just carried on calling it a pie, but no; got to get ole rowdy Maggie permanently added.
And the ‘pie’ part might be related to pie, in that the pastry-encased food genre might be derived from magpie, because a pie contains a variety of ingredients just like a magpie collects assortments of things or will eat pretty much anything. I’m not sure I buy this explanation. The pie of magpie derives from the Latin for magpie, ‘pica’, but the medical condition pica derives from magpie, pica where people eat substances that aren’t foods, another reference to the magpie’s wide-ranging eating habits.
The pie part of magpie also became a term to mean black and white, like in ‘piebald’.
Which brings me to:
QUESTION 3. What’s a word that denotes something similar to ‘piebald’ but meaning patches of white and other colours than black?
A. Skewbald
B. Screwballed
C. Pieblued
D. Piedyed.
ANSWER: A. Skewbald.
Bald meant ‘white patches’, which is a very white person-centric way to describe the absence of hair.
QUESTION 4. Which animal did 14th century English speakers call a camelopard?
A. Giraffe
B. Zebra
C. Tiger
D. Liger
ANSWER: A. Giraffe used to be known in English as ‘camelopard’. They portmanteaued camel, for the long neck like a giraffe, and leopard for the leopard-like spots. The word ‘giraffe’ probably comes from the Arabic zarāfah, which translates to ‘fast walker’. And fair play for not choosing the most obvious characteristic of a giraffe, “You know what, it’s a bit mainstream to keep going on about the giraffe having a long neck, let’s give it some credit for being able to sprint up to 60 kilometres per hour.”
Camels in Old English were known as ‘olfends’, as in elephants, probably because most Old English speakers had never seen a camel or an elepant, just heard tell of these beasts, so you can imagine how these mix-ups could happen. A bit like when someone relates a joke they once heard and it’s hard for you to reconstruct into an actual joke.
QUESTION 5. Which mammal’s name is, in many different languages, ‘washing bear’, and in English is a loan word that means ‘animal that scratches with its hands’?
A. British short-haired cat
B. Three-toed sloth
C. Raccoon.
D. Red panda
ANSWER: C. Raccoon, because raccoons are very handy at scratching for their food - and their hands - or rather front paws or forepaws - are very sensitive, ten times more so than human hands, touch is the raccoon’s primary sense. Some raccoon etymology refers to them rubbing their front paws together, which increases their sensitivity, as does getting them wet. That’s why so many other raccoon terms refer to washing, because raccoons look like they’re doing some hand laundry, but it’s because when they’ve found a potential bit of food, they’re checking that it’s suitable for them to eat.
The etymology of another raccoon name, trash panda, I think you can figure out for yourself.
QUESTION 6. Chicken pox is not so-called because people caught it from chickens - no no! Can’t blame chickens for this: So why IS it called chicken pox? The etymology has never been confirmed; I’ve found several theories, but which ONE of the following is one I’ve made up:
A. The blisters look like you’ve been pecked by a chicken.
B. The blisters look like chickpeas.
C. The blisters look like little eggs.
D. Chickens are associated with weakness for some reason, and illness makes you feel weak - or, because it was a mild pox compared to smallpox.
ANSWER: the false explanation is C. The blisters look like little eggs - I made that up. But it’s not much more tenuous than chickpeas.
Another probably false explanation is that ‘chicken’ was a cute name for children and children get chicken pox.
And why are chickens associated with weakness or cowardice? Some several hundred year-old connotations where cocks, or roosters as you might know them, were confident and bold, so in contrast hens are pathetic and to be hen-hearted was to be timid. Unfair, I say, unfair!
QUESTION 7. Geese! Why is the barnacle goose called barnacle goose?
A. People used to think they hatched from barnacles.
B. People used to think their poops looked like barnacles.
C. They eat barnacles.
D. Because they hang around in barns.
ANSWER: A. People used to think barnacle geese hatched from barnacles. Barnacle the sea creature is even named after a type of goose. I know, it seems obvious in retrospect that they don’t because barnacles are a marine arthropod and those don’t really have the wherewithal to beget a bird. But before people knew about bird migration, they thought: “Wow, we never see these geese around in summer and we never see them laying their eggs in nests” - that’s because in summer the geese were up in the Arctic breeding - “and they’re often hanging around on driftwood, therefore they must be springing to life fully formed on the driftwood!” “Wait no that’s absurd. Take a closer look at the driftwood. See those little lumps? Remind you of anything?” “Not really -” “LOOK CLOSER! Are you seeing it?” “...Sure, ok…” “Black and white, like GEESE! Shaped like the heads of geese! GEESE! They pop out of these nubbins as fully formed geese!”
And this myth persisted, despite evidence-based debunking, for many centuries until about 200 years ago, also provoking many religious discussions about whether the barnacle goose was a bird or fish, so could you eat it in circumstances where meat was forbidden, like during Lent. Pope Innocent III said no, if it acts like a duck and eats like a duck, it’s not getting dietarily categorised as a crustacean.
Bonus barnacle fact: barnacles have the largest penis to body size ratio in the animal kingdom, their penises can be up to eight times their body length. But barnacles don’t have hearts, so just be careful about getting involved, ok? However goose barnacles don’t have such long penises that enable them to reach as far as another barnacle to impregnate it, so a method of reproduction they use is called spermcasting, and as a podcaster, I don’t even want to think about it.
QUESTION 8. The etymology of ‘squirrel’ is:
A. Shadow arse
B. Tree runner
C. Brush tail
D. Nut hider
ANSWER: A. Shadow Arse.
From the Greek word σκίουρος, the ‘skia’ means shadow and the ‘ouros’ means tail, but it’s from the same root word as arse so squirrel etymology is ‘shadow arse’ and that’s my final offer.
Before ‘squirrel’ which English got from French in the early 1500s, the English word for ‘squirrel’ was ācweorna which is something to do with acorns, perhaps ‘acorn eater’, ask your nearest thousand-year-old squirrel to clarify.
QUESTION 9. ‘Ferret’ derives from the Latin word for:
A. Iron
B. Thief
C. Fire
D. Fur
ANSWER: B. Thief!
The full Latin name for ferret is ‘mustela putorious furo’, the furo means thief and putor means smelly.
QUESTION 10. Which of the following animals also derives from the Proto-Indo-European word for stinky?
A. Weasel
B. Fox
C. Skunk
D. Badger
ANSWER: A. Weasel. From the Proto-Indo-European word wisand- - which might also be the root of the word bison. Do bison smell particularly? Or is it referring to the bison’s keen sense of smell? Those are rhetorical questions, you don’t get points for answering. But I can reward you with this little fact about polecats: one Latin name for them is putorius foetidus, which translates to stinky stench. Someone really wanted us to know that polecats smell.
Since we mentioned weasels:
QUESTION 11. Why is it that evasiveness is called being weaselly, and weasel words are terms that with their vagueness deliberately undermine the meaningfulness of the rest of the statement? Is it because:
A. Weasels are said to be able to suck the contents out of an egg without breaking the shell.
B. Weasels can shimmy through cracks half the width of their shoulders.
C. Weasels never look another creature in the eyes.
D. Weasels never give you a direct answer when you ask them a question.
ANSWER: A. Weasels are said to be able to suck the contents out of an egg without breaking the shell. Although note the weasel wordage, “weasels are said to be able to” - it’s unconfirmed. They might not have the mandibles capable of such feats. Anyway, the presence of a weasel word renders the statement empty, lacking in nourishment.
QUESTION 12. Speaking of eggs: what did the 13th century term an ‘addle egg’ mean? Egg addling in the modern day is a method of controlling the Canada goose population but what was an addle egg in the 13th century?
A. A rotten egg.
B. An egg laid without a hard shell.
C. A scrambled egg.
D. A testicle.
ANSWER: A. a rotten egg. ‘Addle’ in Old and Middle English meant urine or dung or mud, and ‘addle egg’ was a translation of a Latin term ovum urinum, meaning ‘urine egg’. Why urine egg? Well Latin had borrowed from a Greek term for a rotten egg, οὔριον ᾠόν, and that οὔριον didn’t have anything to do with urine but meant “wind”. The Greeks were talking about “wind eggs”, eggshells that might be empty literally or metaphorically of what you’d expect of an egg.
QUESTION 13. Originally the word ‘deer’ had a much broader meaning, in Old English it was any animal, especially a wild animal. In other words that have got a lot narrower in meaning, which of the following used to mean any kind of property - land, money, etc:
A. Herd
B. Flock
C. Cattle
D. Gaggle
ANSWER: C. Cattle used to mean property of any kind, ‘chattel’ is another version of the same thing, both from the medieval Latin ‘capitale’ meaning property, although that ultimately derives from ‘caput’ meaning ‘head’. As to why cattle became cows specifically: livestock animals like cows, sheep, horses were property, and cattle went from meaning property of any kind to property that was movable - real property or as you might recognise it now, real estate, was fixed, unmovable, so that was land, buildings, and any animals belonging to the land so for instance you might sell your land complete with the chickens or ducks or wild creatures that live on it, whereas the cattle property was items that weren’t fixed to the land so could be moved elsewhere with their owner, or the owner could sell the cattle without selling the land. Thus cattle narrowed from property to movable property to livestock to cows. Don’t ask me why they couldn’t move chickens in those days. Maybe chickens used to be a lot heavier and more difficult to budge.
The word ‘fee’ also used to mean livestock in Old English, as did the ‘pecu’ in the Latin word for money, ‘pecunia’, cows are money.
QUESTION 14. The idiom “mare’s nest” - mare’s nest, as in female horse’s nest - what does that mean?
A. An improbably large nest!
B. A veritable hillock of horse manure
C. An important-seeming discovery that turns out to be a hoax
D. A head full of bad dreams.
ANSWER: C. a discovery that looks important but turns out to be a hoax. Because mares don’t make nests. OR DO THEY.
QUESTION 15. Shrews are tiny furry animals that don’t seem to be particularly malevolent, busy trying to eat their own bodyweight in seeds and insects each day because of their fast metabolisms. But ‘shrew’ was an insulting word, in more recent centuries just for women who were considered too scolding or sassy or otherwise insufficiently meek; but before Chaucer and Shakespeare spurred a trend for shrews being those kinds of women, it was an all-genders insult. Because there were many myths about the evils of the animal shrews. And there was a verb ‘beshrew’, to curse or bring evil upon someone. Which one of the following is a myth about shrews I just made up, rather than one put about by celebrated writers, philosophers and historians of hundreds or thousands of years ago? Choose the freshly faked shrew myth:
A. Shrews’ eyes can turn a human to stone!
B. If a shrew runs over a human or horse’s limb, the limb becomes paralysed!
C. If a horse or cow grazes in grass that the shrew’s venom is in, the horse or cow will DIE!
D. The devil himself was a shrew!
ANSWER: the one I made up was A. shrews’ eyes can turn a human to stone, the others are shrew myths made up or propagated by the likes of Aristotle, Pliny and Edward Topsell, author of the 1607 tome The History of Four-Footed Beasts, wherein he held forth about the cruel and ravening shrew and its venomous bites - yes, a few types of shrew do have venomous bites to immobilise their prey, but large mammals like humans and horses and cows are likely to be ok. Remember, a shrew is smaller than a mouse, so even if it did kill a horse what’s it going to do with a dead horse?
Anyway, good news if you do get poisoned by a shrew bite: Edward Topsell offers several remedies, including powdered burnt shrew mixed with goose grease, honey mixed with ground ram’s hoof, or dog poo. I don’t know if you swallow these remedies or apply them to the wound, but good luck if you try them.
QUESTION 16. Which aquatic mammal’s name means pig-fish? A merpig, if you prefer?
A. Manatee
B. Dolphin
C. Walrus
D. Porpoise
ANSWER: porpoise. Came to English from Old French where the por derived from ‘porc’ meaning pig and poise from ‘peis’ meaning fish. Pigfish. Of course, they’re mammals not fish.
QUESTION 17. Animals produce manure. What is the etymology of manure?
A. Man ordure.
B. Working the land manually.
C. More than urine.
D. Manouevre, as in “manoeuvre that waste outta this bowel!”
ANSWER: Working the land manually. Because that labour often involved strewing dung, to fertilise the soil, the substance got named for the activity. But even though manure has been called manure since the late 16th century, some sense of the fertilizing activity stuck around for about 300 more years, and manure could also mean cultivating the mind. It IS related to ‘manoeuvre’ etymologically, though that word is a few hundred years more recent.
Bonus Old English word for dung beetle: tordwifel meaning "turd weevil."
And that’s the end of the quiz! Add up your score, a total of 17 points were available. What did you get? Well done! You’re a winner! And your prize is all that etymology about manure and ferrets.
What do you reckon, Whisky? “Don’t care, eating a banana skin.” OK I’ll leave you to it. You’re going to provoke a lot of people’s misophonia.
The Allusionist is an independent podcast and I love to combine with other independent podcasts. You can hear me, and my VMIpod partner Jenny Owen Youngs on the latest episode of the podcast Hot and Bothered, which is all about romance fiction, and their current series is about Pride and Prejudice, so Jenny and I got to recap the 2005 movie adaptation starring Kiera Knightley. Find that on the Hot and Bothered podfeed. Also! If you like independent podcasts and want to help keep us afloat, become a patreonlusionist at patreon.com/allusionist and not only do you help keep this show going, you also get a very genial Discord community with your fellow patrons, and behind the scenes glimpses into the making of this show, and regular livestreams with me and my dictionaries and perks at the live shows - cough cough Aotearoa New Zealand this is your time.
Your randomly selected word from the dictionary today is…
meatus, noun, anatomy: the opening of a passage or canal.
Try using ‘meatus’ in an email today, cos you’re just a teenage meatbag baby.
This episode was produced by me, the Allusionist music is by Martin Austwick of palebirdmusic.com and the podcast Neutrino Watch. Our ad partner is Multitude. To sponsor an episode of the show, contact them at multitude.productions/ads.
Stay in touch with @allusionistshow on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. And find every episode of the podcast in audio and transcript form including all the previous playalong quizzes on such topics as food and swearing, plus the full dictionary entries for the randomly selected words, and listings for events such as the performances of the new live show Your Name Here in Aotearoa New Zealand this very month, all at the show’s forever home theallusionist.org.
