Allusionist 31: Post-Love

Breaking up is hard to do, and it's hard to put into appropriate words. Comedian Rosie Wilby seeks a better term for 'ex', and family law barrister Nick Allen runs through the vocabulary of divorce. NOTE: this episode is not full of bawdy talk,

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Breaking up is hard to do, and it's hard to put into appropriate words.

Comedian Rosie Wilby seeks a better term for 'ex'; family law barrister Nick Allen runs through the vocabulary of divorce; and listeners share some of their worst break-up lines.

NOTE: this episode is not full of bawdy talk, but there are adult themes and a couple of category B swearwords.

A BIT (OF ADDITIONAL MATERIAL) ON THE SIDE:

• The Museum of Broken Relationships is coming to LA - do you have anything to exhibit?

• Listener Felipe reminded me about French artist Sophie Calle's Take Care Of Yourself, an exhibition about the email in which her boyfriend dumped her.

• Want more tales of break-ups? Get yourself to You Broke Up How?

• Here's Esther Perel on ghosting, AKA the coward's way out.

• Watch Rosie Wilby's TEDx talk 'Is Monogamy Dead?'

• Let the UK government explain the difference between civil partnership and same-sex marriage.

• Conscious uncoupling.

• Here's the transcript of the episode.

RANDOMLY SELECTED WORD FROM THE DICTIONARY:
quadrumanous

CREDITS:

• Rosie Wilby is a comedian and writer. You can find her live show dates, written work and more at rosiewilby.com and on Twitter @rosiewilby; you can hear her podcast, and her radio show Out in South London is on Resonance FM.

• Nick Allen is a family law barrister. I'm hoping you don't require the services of one of those, but if you do, Nick is the best.

• This episode was produced by me, Helen Zaltzman, with editorial help from Hrishikesh Hirway from Song Exploder. The music is by Martin Austwick.

• Don't go breaking my heart: let's keep our love alive at facebook.com/allusionistshow, twitter.com/allusionistshow and twitter.com/helenzaltzman.

Meet you back here in a fortnight.

- HZ

Allusionist 29: WLTM part II

You're looking for your perfect partner, but dating sites keep matching you with duds. So what do you do? Conduct an elaborate linguistic experiment, of course! At least, that was futurist Amy Webb's response to the situation. But did it work?

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You're looking for your perfect partner, but dating sites keep matching you with duds. So what do you do? Conduct an elaborate linguistic experiment, of course!

At least, that was futurist Amy Webb's response.

Spreadsheets were involved. For what is the pursuit of love without spreadsheets?

NOTE: A number of you have written to posit that Amy's date who claimed to be an orthopaedic surgeon was saying 'anaesthetist', which is a legit job. Amy couldn't pronounce his mispronunciation, but he actually kept saying 'anestethist', which is not a legit job. (He also happened to know very little about orthopaedic surgery, but a lot about carpentry. You're allowed to say you're a carpenter if you're a carpenter, sir!)

SUPPLEMENTARY MATERIALS:

• Watch (or read) Amy's TED talk: 'How I Hacked Online Dating'.

• There's far more detail about Amy's experiment in her very enjoyable book Data: A Love Story. Read an extract here.

• And here's an article she wrote about the data in dating.

• A mathematician did is own experiment with OK Cupid.

• OkCupid used to keep an interesting blog in which they analysed their own data. TL:DR? Here's a summary.

• And a linguist analysed OkCupid usernames.

• Cute as a button = urgent as pox?

• Here's a history of 'cute'...

• ...and one of 'adorkable'.

• inwhiches.tumblr.com - go!

• Missed WLTM part I? Here it is.

• There's a transcript of this episode here.

Do me a favour? / Want to appear in an upcoming show?
Go to a quiet place, and record yourself on whatever you’ve got - phone voice memo is fine - and tell me the worst thing you said to someone to break up with them. Or the worst thing someone said to you to break up with you.
By ‘worst’, I do mean ‘worst that you can kind of find funny now’ rather than something that will emotionally devastate you afresh to recount in this forum.
Send recordings to allusionistshow@gmail.com, if you’re willing for me to use them in the show. It’ll be anonymous, apart from your voice.

RANDOMLY SELECTED WORD FROM THE DICTIONARY:
spavin

CREDITS:

• Amy Webb is the founder and CEO of Webbmedia Group and the author of Data: A Love Story. She is @webbmedia on Twitter. She would also like to point out that what worked for HER might not work for YOU, so don't just copy her home-made algorithm wholesale, ok? Build your own!

• This episode was produced by me, Helen Zaltzman, with editorial aid from Julie Shapiro and Hrishikesh Hirway.

• Aside from a quick blast of 'The Perfect Nanny' from Mary Poppins, all the music is by Martin Austwick.

• Greet me at facebook.com/allusionistshow, twitter.com/allusionistshow and twitter.com/helenzaltzman, but don't you dare refer to any of your body parts as 'The Captain'.

Back in a fortnight.

- HZ

Allusionist 15: Step Away

'Step-', as in stepparents or stepchildren, originated in grief. Family structures have evolved, but are stepmothers now so tainted by fairytale associations with the word 'wicked' that we need new terminology?

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'Step-', as in stepparents or stepchildren, originated in grief. Family structures have evolved, but are stepmothers now so tainted by fairytale associations with the word 'wicked' that we need new terminology? Lore's Aaron Mahnke stops by to describe the lovelessness, literary tropes and life expectancy around 'step-'.

ADDITIONAL READING:

• Diagnose yourself with novercaphobia, if you must.

• But according to Neil Gaiman, in early versions of many of the Brothers Grimm's fairy tales, the evil stepmothers were actually evil bilogical mothers...

• Here's information about the study Aaron mentioned about 'The Cinderella Effect' upon stepchild mortality; there are some curious findings.

• Read about the ancient prototypes for Cinderella, and then some analysis of some of the newer spins on the tale.

• Or perhaps you'd prefer an annotated version of Hansel and Gretel, plus a load of different illustrators' takes on it.

• Have you seen the film Wicked Stepmother? No, nor have I. It is distinguished by being Bette Davis's final film, and seems to average around two stars out of five from what I've read about it.

• The transcript of this episode is here.

On Tuesday 4th August 2015 at 8pm UK time, 3pm ET, 12pm PT, I'll be doing a live discussion about this episode at spoken.am. Please come along to tell me what you think, divulge about your own steprelatives, and to ask me anything about the show.

Go to spoken.am to request your invite* and I'll see you there, yes? (Or you can catch up afterwards, if you must.)

UPDATE: Now that we are living in the post-live chat era, you can catch up at spoken.am/allusionist/step-away

*My school English teacher used to HATE people using 'invite' as a noun. I feel both guilty and slyly delighted to have done so just now.

RANDOMLY SELECTED WORD FROM THE DICTIONARY:
emolument

CREDITS:

• Aaron Mahnke hosts Lore podcast, about scary stories and folklore. Visit lorepodcast.com, and find more of Aaron's work including his books at aaronmahnke.com.

• Big sloppy thanks are served to all the listeners who answered my plea and kindly contributed their thoughts about step-terms.

• This episode was produced by me, Helen Zaltzman. All the music is by Martin Austwick. Hear and/or download more - WITH LYRICS! - at thesoundoftheladies.bandcamp.com.

• Say hello to me at facebook.com/allusionistshow, twitter.com/allusionistshow and twitter.com/helenzaltzman.

Back in a fortnight. Don't let anyone turn you into a pumpkin in the meantime.

- HZ